Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
