just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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