I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
