Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
be right there i have to get my cape
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
