Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
