I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize