There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
