i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
