I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this will be a night to untag.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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