I cockslap morals
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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