Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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