Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
