I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
