I just threw up on my dentist
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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