It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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