is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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