But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize