I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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