Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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