She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
