I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize