He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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