she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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