I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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