I heard we made out
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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