to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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