I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Randomize