Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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