Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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