8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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