I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
