You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
