I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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