Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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