OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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