I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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