yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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