So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
