Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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