it wasn't lemon gatorade
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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