Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
