Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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