you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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