By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
