Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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