I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize