I hate all girls vehemently.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
