hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Never underestimate the power of titties
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize