I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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