I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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