Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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