He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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