told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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