I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
