I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
