As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
