She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
