im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i out mim tonsoeep
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