U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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