You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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