you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
