Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i've created a new STD.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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