yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
