this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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