I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
