I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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