So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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